Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
So I decided to start saving money for my abortion in a tomato sauce jar because it says ‘Prego.’ I know I thought it was fucking genius!
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
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