just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
