i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Randomize
