"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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