Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
