Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize