Pappa wants mamma naked
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
i out mim tonsoeep
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