If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
