So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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