and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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