he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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