I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
