his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
