I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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