Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
