I'm drive I can fine osifer
This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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