Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
Randomize
