I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
