Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
