Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
