I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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