how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
Randomize
