omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
