Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
My bed smells like the plague
Randomize
