i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
Floor bacon is actually really good
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
