wat bout pragnant strippers??
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
