Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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