Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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