Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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