none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
