idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
