Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Mom said you looked used
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
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