Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I just gift wrapped bread.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
Randomize
