The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
