my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
