Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Randomize
