You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
I'm jealous of your bromance
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
Randomize
