i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
