The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Randomize
