Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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