dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
