Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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