Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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