dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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