I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I'm sobbing to NWA
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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