Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Fuck me I smell like cheese
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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