We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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