All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
