i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Randomize
