dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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