This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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